


I Miss You, at Nine in the Afternoon

by SugoiKawaiiDesuNe



Series: Silver Linings [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Best Friends, But I'm too tired to care so I'm posting it anyway, Cigarettes, Did I ever really know?, I hate this story btw, It's late and I've forgotten how to tag, It's only referenced here, Late Night Conversations, Or like the start of one, Patton is the best, Platonic Moxiety, Smoking, This takes place after my other one-shot Natural, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, VIrgil's going through some stuff, enjoy?, kind of a panic attack scene?, like barely - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugoiKawaiiDesuNe/pseuds/SugoiKawaiiDesuNe
Summary: Set after my other work, Natural - it's not really necessary to read that before this, but it might help things make a little more sense?Virgil's life has been turned upside down.  He's struggling to cope, but luckily, Patton's always there to help.





	I Miss You, at Nine in the Afternoon

Virgil bit down on his thumb, teeth digging into newly formed skin and tearing the flesh open once more. The wound had been attempting to heal for months now. He just couldn’t seem to stop the habit.

His eyes were sore, red and puffy and raw from a swirling cocktail of tears, exhaustion, and staring at the wall for too long. His vision was somehow both blurred and far too focused, the stark clarity of his surroundings hurting his head and only pushing him further into his internal panic.

It was nearing two in the morning. He should be asleep. He _wanted_ to be asleep, but his mind couldn’t even rest long enough for him to close his eyes- when was the last time he blinked?

He forced his eyes shut for a moment, wincing at the light pressure of his eyelids. No, sleep was definitely out of the question.

The quiet around him settled heavily on Virgil’s shoulders, weighing him down and grinding him into the floor below. He couldn’t hear anything but his own breathing, his own pounding heart. It was too quiet- it was too _loud._

Virgil groaned, ripping his injured thumb from his lips to tug harshly at his hair. With his other hand, he pulled his phone from his pocket, flinching as its bright light attacked his pupils. His heart hammered in his chest as he scrolled through his contacts, looking for one name in particular. His fingers shook as his thumb hovered over the call button. Virgil took a deep, albeit shaky breath and clicked.

The phone rang twice before his friend’s bubbly voice rang through.

“Hey, Virge! What’s up?”

Virgil couldn’t help the small smile that played on his lips. The fingers in his hair loosened slightly. “Hey, Pat,” he said, wincing at how scratchy his voice sounded. “I know it’s late, but, uh…”

“You wanna go for a drive, kiddo?”

His smile grew, and his hand fell from his hair, heart rate slowing to an almost normal pace. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

Twenty minutes later, Patton sat in Virgil’s driveway, honking the horn twice to signal his arrival. Virgil shot to his feet and practically ran across the room to the door. He patted his pockets to ensure he had his keys and locked the door behind him as he slipped into the darkness.

He jogged over to Patton’s _Nissan_ and climbed into the passenger seat, shooting his best friend a grateful smile as he put on his seatbelt.

Patton grinned widely at him, though there was an obvious glint of concern in his eyes. “Long day?”

Virgil leaned his head back against the seat and let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “Yes.” Patton nodded understandingly and silently began backing out of the driveway. Virgil let the silence drag on a moment longer before turning his head toward Patton. “Sorry to bother you so late.”

Patton laughed, reaching over to place a comforting hand on Virgil’s own. “Please, Virgil, you know you can always call me. It’s never a bother.” Virgil smiled at the bright grin pointed his way. “And besides, I was just re-watching _Parks and Recreation_ again.”

Virgil chuckled at that, shaking his head. “For what, the hundredth time?”

Patton gasped as if he was truly offended by such an accusation. “Only the ninety-ninth, Virgil!”

Virgil barked out a laugh that startled even him in his half-dazed state. His chest suddenly hurt a little less, though, so he decided it wasn’t anything to be embarrassed by.

Patton shot him a knowing look, his smile becoming strained. “What’s wrong, Virge?”

Virgil sighed and ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at how oily it suddenly felt against his skin. “I… I don’t know.”

Patton nodded as if he had given him a real answer, but he stayed silent as Virgil continued to think through his next words.

“I just… I feel- trapped.”

Patton’s smile fell into a small frown, his eyes never straying from the road ahead as he turned onto another street. “Trapped in some situation, or trapped here, in this town?”

Virgil pursed his lips. “Yes.”

“You’re not trapped, Virgil. You have options.”

Virgil groaned and threw his head back again. “It doesn’t feel like it. I never expected to be in this situation. I never expected to be back here like this!”

Patton’s frown grew deeper as he racked his brain for something that could help his friend. “I know, kiddo, and it sucks, there’s no denying that. But it won’t be like this forever.”

Silence stretched between them, and Patton turned to offer Virgil a weak half-smile. “Where do you want to go tonight?”

Virgil shrugged and leaned further back into his seat, pushing his shoulders flat against the surface. “I don’t know… My brain is absolutely fried, and for once, I just want to do something and not have it working overtime in the background.”

Patton furrowed his brows, pondering over his friend’s words. “Okay, well, any ideas?”

Virgil lifted his thumb to his mouth, biting the still-sore skin softly. “Let’s go to the school.”

Patton raised a brow at him. “Which school?”

A small grin made its way to Virgil’s lips. “The old school.”

“At two-thirty in the morning?”

“Why not?”

Patton’s fingers drummed against the steering wheel as he thought it over. “… I’m not going inside.”

Virgil laughed, smiling at his friend in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. “Of course not, Pat. I just want to be nostalgic for a bit.”

Patton gave him an understanding smile and nodded, already pulling down another street that would lead them to their destination.

West Valley Academy had once been the only school in their little community before a new, bigger school popped up closer to town and inevitably stole all its attendants one by one. The school was shut down when Virgil was only seven years old, but the memories he held from his time there were special to him.

Looking up at the dark, dilapidated brick building now, Virgil felt a pang of bitter nostalgia settle in his chest. Things were so much simpler back then.

Patton bit his lip as he, too, gazed up at the building, his eyes flickering about the shadows surrounding them. “We’re not going over there, right?” he asked, his voice strained as he struggled and ultimately failed to keep his fear at bay.

Virgil gave him a crooked smile and shook his head. “No, don’t worry,” he said, moving forward.

Patton watched with wide, horrified eyes as Virgil made his way toward the building, but he simply stopped in the middle of the narrow road that separated them from the abandoned structure. Patton almost breathed out a sigh of relief until Virgil knelt down and lay back against the asphalt. His breath hitched as he quickly ran over to his friend, looking around them to make sure no cars were headed their way.

“Virgil! You can’t just lie down in the middle of the road, that’s not safe!”

A low, bitter laugh came from Virgil’s throat, sending chills down Patton’s spine. “Look around, Pat, no one’s around. It’s three in the morning, and no one lives on this road. There’s no reason for anyone to be here.”

Patton’s fears subsided, but only a little, at the boy’s reasoning. He crossed his arms and poked his lip out in a pout as he sat cross-legged next to his friend. “We’re here, though,” he grumbled.

Virgil snorted at that, his eyes glued to the stars above them. “Do you think anyone else around here is as stupid as us?”

Patton giggled and leaned back, searching the stars for any familiar constellations. Logan had been trying to teach him, but he always seemed to get too distracted with just _how many_ stars there were to fully comprehend what he was meant to be learning. “Probably not,” he admitted.

Silence filled the air around them, but it was comfortable, easy. Virgil took a deep breath, relishing in the way he could feel his lungs expanding with the crisp night air. His hand found its way to his hoodie pocket, pulling out a half-empty pack of cigarettes. He retrieved one and placed it between his lips before offering the pack to Patton.

A soft sigh escaped him as Patton turned to look at him. “That’s bad for you,” he said, even as he reached out and took a cigarette for himself.

Virgil smirked as he lit his own before passing the lighter over to his friend. “So I’ve been told.”

Patton rolled his eyes and carefully lit his cigarette, taking a deep breath and staring up at the cloud of smoke he expelled.

Virgil watched him quietly, his mind at war again. He knew Patton was trying to quit, that he, himself, was the very reason Patton had taken to the nasty habit. He also knew that Patton was only giving in now because he didn’t want Virgil to engage in harmful habits alone- he didn’t want Virgil to _feel_ alone.

He tried to ignore how well it was working.

Patton took another deep drag and slowly exhaled. “Do you miss him?”

Virgil’s insides suddenly felt cold, but he told himself the flame held between his teeth helped warm him. “… No.”

Patton’s head lolled to the side so he could raise a skeptical brow at his friend. “No?”

Virgil sighed, wispy tendrils of smoke filling the air above their heads. “No. I sometimes miss what we had, before… But I can’t miss someone I don’t even know.”

Patton stared at him for a long moment before turning back to the starry sky above. “You’re better off without him, you know.”

Virgil’s lips twitched into a barely-there smile. “I know… Thanks, Pat.”

Patton smiled at him, taking one last hit of his cigarette before grinding it into the pavement beneath them. “Anytime, Virge. That’s what best friends are for.”

Virgil’s smile grew as he, too, extinguished his cigarette, a deep sigh falling from his lips as he heaved himself up. He dusted off his jeans and held his hand out to Patton, pulling him to his feet. “We should do this more often.”

Patton laughed, “What, lie in the road and fill our lungs with chemicals?”

“Absolutely,” Virgil grinned.

“I think I’ll pass,” Patton said, rolling his eyes. He reached out and grabbed Virgil’s wrist, tugging him gently toward the car. “Come on, it’s late.”

“Technically, it’s early-“

“It’s past your bedtime, mister!”

Virgil laughed and followed his best friend back to the car, relaxing into the seat as they began their journey back home.

The sun hadn’t yet peaked over the horizon, but the sky had turned a light violet in preparation for its wake. Patton pulled into Virgil’s driveway with care, trying not to jostle the sleepy boy next to him.

“Well, kiddo, how are you feeling?”

Virgil turned his half-lidded gaze to his friend, a soft smile on his face. “Much better… Thanks, Patton. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Patton smiled at him and ran a comforting hand through Virgil’s hair, giggling at the near purr that escaped his friend’s lips. “I’m always here for you, Virge, so you’ll never have to find out.”

Virgil grinned and nodded, reluctantly opening his door and crawling out. “See you, Pat.”

“Bye, Virgil!” Patton yelled, waving at him excitedly. “I love you.”

A new warmth spread through Virgil’s chest, one fueled solely by the purity of his best friend’s heart. 

And maybe things hadn’t changed, maybe Virgil still felt trapped in his own head, and life was still hard, and he still wanted to drown his sorrows in late-night talks with nicotine on his tongue. But he wasn’t alone.

“Love you too, Patton.”


End file.
